Part-time home learning, Part-time brick and mortar school

I created this blog as a place to record the wonderful learning my son does at home.  I did it at a time when I was beginning to realize his dad would likely not let us home school without a fight in court.  Now, my son has been in kindergarten for three months.  In many ways he's enjoyed it.  A nice small school, good teacher, great group of friends, and some new stimulating things to do.  The biggest change for Daniel really has been having so much less time to do the other things he loves at home or out with friends, as well as less time to reconnect with self, mama and his little home daycare sisters and brothers.  Daniel is now very confident socially, but he still needs to recharge in silence, get down time, alone time.   He usually opts to walk the 9 blocks home from school in silence, and this creates some needed quiet transition time.  Often, he retreats to his bedroom once home.  But then once he's ready for more action, interaction with mummy and my home daycare kids (and daddy too, I'd guess.  It seems, there, they tend to watch tv or movies int he evening), it's time for everyone to go home, dinner and bed.  When we plan to skip school, once or twice a week, and choose to stay up a little later, there's so much he wants to do, reading, writing or number practice, creating games, building, crafts...where can we get the time for this, let alone, chatting about all the things he's interested in, wants to know about?  Often, when reading in bed, Daniel will encounter a theme he's interested in and ask me to stop reading and just tell him what I know about it....like just the other day, a story set in Mexico, where the conquering of the Aztecs was mentioned and how many were killed by small pox brought by the Spaniards, Daniel wanted me to retell him how the Spaniards won and what small pox was etc.  He already knows this history, and I guess wanted a review.  Of course, it was late, and soon after I started talking, he drifted off to sleep.  With Daniel's 'introverted' need to recharge and process alone, added to the rushed school day, and his every other day and alternate weekend switch between mum's and dad's house, there's so little time to really settle into himself, settle into  projects, explore learning, and most sadly for me, to have real heart to heart conversations.  Anyway, I guess because of this, I've decided to give Daniel the option to stay home from school once or twice a week.  Full day kindergarten is new in BC, and it's a lot for my guy.  We have done all kinds of different things on these days home.  I want to record all this here, but sadly, I seem to rarely have time to do it.

Proud of my super inventive son!

I'm never sure how Daniel will occupy himself when we hang out with our super home learning family friends!  These kids amuse themselves, often silently working or reading by themselves for an hour or two.  Will Daniel find something to do?  Will he get the engagement, I feel he needs, will he be bored?  My doubts are always unfounded.  The creativity, kindness, enthusiasm for each other's ideas always rubs off.  Plus, my little dude knows how to occupy himself too.  Daniel wanted to play a board game with everyone, but there where none to play.  S. suggested cards.  Nah!  M. brought out the Jenga, and they played around.  Then, while other's were busy, Daniel invented his own game!  Replete with pretty complex rules, and both girls were into it.  I was sitting working on the sofa in silence, and frankly amazed by Daniel's idea, and by the enthusiasm of the girls to join in, and contribute their ideas.  Later, M. mentioned that Daniel really wanted to play it with me.  Thanks for that consideration, M!  So, here they are setting the game up for me.  A game entirely of chance, but definitely fun.  Each person gets a Jenga colour, and rolls a Jenga die to then picks up a Jenga piece and the card below.  Brown pieces win picture cards (king, queen and jacks), red Jengas win red number cards, and Black ones win black cards.  Everyone wins jokers.  You keep rolling the die until you either get your colour or a star.  If you role a star, you can keep whichever card you lift out from under the Jenga piece, and keep them for points: Jenga piece is worth one, number cards their face value, Jacks 11, Queens 12, Kings 13, and Jokers 14.  If you role your colour first, you can only keep the card that matches it.  Cards that don't match get discarded for the next round.  Each round involves laying out a grid of cards that can be divided by three players with equal amounts of cards each, with each round using fewer and fewer cards (the discards). Very complex!  In the end the game is just luck, but it was wonderful to watch each child, Daniel, A. and M. work out for themselves how to add their points accurately, help each other with this.  Great math practice.  Incredible planning and inventiveness on Daniel's part, and wonderful to see them collaborating on this so enthusiastically.  This was a wonderful "home schooling project"!

First Snow!!! Yippeeeee!!

This morning Daniel and I woke up to the beautiful snow, sadly no pictures of the lovely sunshine.   Daniel was up and dressed and ready to play within minutes, and out he went.  We quickly decided to go join friends to play and hang out in coziness afterwards.  Daniel has definitely come a long way as far as getting into the fight, at first he really wanted to make sure he was on the right team, and wouldn't feel too threatened, but quickly, grew into the pure joy of aiming and ducking!  Later, when the kids went out again in the dark, a wonderful collaborative project of turning one of the giant snowballs into a sofa!  Gotta get a photo of that one.  Thanks guys for all the fun!

Daniel hides where the stash of pre-made
snowballs are in wait to ambush the adults!

Taken seconds before Daniel smacks J. in the face with a snow ball!  Ouch!  Sorry J.

The Web of Life, Home-Schooling at The Beaty Biodiversity Museum, UBC Part One

Today I was struck by one of those impressions that crystallize and magnify all that is important to me in life.

I stood silently, outside The Beaty Biodiversity Museum at The University of British Columbia in Vancouver, with my new camera in hand, awestruck by the beauty of the 26 metre Blue Whale Skeleton suspended between two vast lengths of glass, the layer of bare autumn branches reflected in the window in front, the white sky a background behind, all creating a graphic image of inter-connecting branches and bones stretching in all directions.

I bore witness to the astounding beauty of layers of life inter-twined in an intricate web, the simple framing of the stark, minimalist concrete, glass and steal structure, the court-yard behind with its wild meadow bordered on one side with young trees, and Salal, on the other by low shrubs and picnic tables, and on yet a third by a border of tall, fluffy white grasses and a long wooden bench stretching back to infinity.   My two smallest children were asleep in the stroller beside me and my two older ones had headed with two other families into the building beside to check out more skeletons.  Along with four or five other home schooling families, we’d spent a couple of hours exploring the museum and eaten outside, then the children had romped in the meadow’s long wet grasses, ran, climbed and played to their heart’s content, made new bonds and collaborations in fantasy play and science experiments alike.  I was feeling overjoyed by the community-web of home schoolers that I am finally understanding are indispensable to my joy and ease, and there I was in this moment of peace after the whirlwind of activity, camera in hand,

. with a story welling up inside me: I knew without a doubt that I want to be with the children, I want to be supported and support my community of friends in offering our children what we feel is the best, I want our children to be free to learn and socialize in the world at large, indoors and outdoors and come to their knowledge and growth through passion, free association with children of all ages and caring, enthusiastic adults of all personalities, skills and temperaments, and as much self direction and independence and loving, nurturing dependence that they need at any given moment from their community of support.  Last of all, I want to take pictures and I want to write about and promote what I love and believe in.

Today was a success because it revealed so profoundly what the first image above portrays to me:  this intricate web of life, made up of home schooling families and others who want to be a huge part in the growing, learning and happiness of their own and others' children, who offer endless support, resources, guidance and companionship, is akin, in many ways to the inter-connectedness of nature.  How can we as humans isolate ourselves, me as a single mum, children in school, separated into same age groups, away from their families, diverse communities, connection with nature and a wealth of experience for so much of the day, when confronted with the reality of the natural world’s inter-dependence including our own fragile relationship within it ?  Are we not all connected and reliant on each other?  What better place than the Beaty Biodiversity Museum, and the meadowed court-yard behind, for this epiphany to happen?

Tune in soon for more, including a summary of the field trip and a review of the museum...

Thank you all for your support!  It was a great day.

On The Way to Firemaker

Going to Firemaker at Camp Barnard, Sooke - http://www.firemaker.org/ - was one of the best decisions of the year.  Luckily I was inspired, and got in immediate action to organize funds, time off and borrow almost all the camping gear and a ride from the ferry all at the last minute.  Thanks to so much generosity from friends and strangers alike, my son and I made it to this amazing community building survival skills camp out with just one unplanned yet fortuitous detour on the way.  Due to a traffic accident, our bus to Twassen was late so we missed the planned 6pm ferry, and therefore our ride from Swartz to Sooke.  On the ferry we met a mama and 4 year old who suggested we stay in Sidney and helped me find a cheap hotel to stay in.  What a great decision!  Though I initially felt stranded by my ride - this is the first trip I've made with my son that isn't to my folks

Aggressive Play - Honouring the Diversity.

This is my response to a discussion on a local chat group of parents in my area.All were discussing their thoughts about some children - mostly boys - and their parents engage in 'aggressive' or warrior type play.....

 

Re: Playground politics (cont')

Wow, what an amazing array of thoughtful responses. I love living here! I love
honoring the diversity, and working with our children to slowly recognize that
not only is each individual child's needs and desires to play safely, yet have
their interests and drives acknowledged, but also that there are many different
social expectations around what is "right"...simple examples that tend not to
trigger us as much as aggressive play or weapons, running barefoot, climbing up
the slide, eating ice-creams or super junk food in front of other kids,
ownership of cool toys, bikes, free toys....
Most of all, I think our kids are learning that there are different opinions,
and when choosing play styles, or toys to use in social spaces, we have a role
in how others feel, react to, learn from, shy away from etc. us. Awareness,
relativity and social responsibility!!!!!! The best lessons ever. We and our
kids are a lucky bunch!

Years ago, before I was a mother, traveling in Rio, Brazil with my mum, where
guns are a reality - as security in banks, and on the street as threats, my mum
'took a shot' of a young kid, maybe 3 years old, standing with a huge plastic
toy gun. I remember her exclaiming in sorrow every time we looked at the
picture! I vowed long ago, I wouldn't let my son ever play with weapons.

I did well in the first few years...
Now, he's a master swords fighter: bamboo, cardboard, nerf, bows and arrows,
daggers, pirate pistols.... and yes the good old fashioned stick! Just today, I
was at the family place with two of my older kids, one girl, one boy, who I
found building lego guns up in the castle, and reminded them that I didn't want
them coming down stairs and pointing play guns at anyone; showed them the trick
of turning the lego gun into a camera, how hunting for pictures is so similar...

Yes, media is awful, it's a culprit for sure...but it's the teaching of
disconnect in media we need to remedy.....

I've steeped myself in discussions of social mores, education, child raising, I
was so upset when my son started to play violent games, yet for time immemorial,
children have imitated what they see in society, they work through it, they want
to come to terms with it. On top of that many boys, and some girls have an
incredible surge of hormones and need to exert themselves physically in an
aggressive way that hints of the forces of nature, the elemental core of right
and wrong, or power over....and, and, and, so many of our kids are so lorded
over by their families, pre-schools, schools, restrictions, bed times, rules,
rules, rules, when they find a fantasy play that helps liberate them and switch
power roles, boy oh boy, (girl oh girl) do they love it!!

I heard of one family of two boys who'd been exposed to little media, and whose
parents were committed to non-violent, peaceful, Buddhist relationship with
life. They had not only forbidden gun play or any other weapons, fantasy play
of battles etc.., they had espoused their ideals of non violence, teaching honor
and respect for life, gentleness etc. For several years, they thought it had
worked. Then one night they awake in the middle of the night to find their two
sons fighting in privacy behind closed doors with toilet paper rolls, in the
bathroom, so.....

So, in the end it comes down to, what everyone has said: are others safe? is
someone feeling scared? should we stop or find a more appropriate space? do
others want to join in?, what are the other parents desiring to teach their
littles?....and never ever point a stick, sword, gun in someone's face if they
haven't agreed to that kind of play!

Then go back to the roots: why do kids love power plays? why do we have a
disconnect in our society? Would you rather have your boys (many), girls (some)
playing "battle it out" video games (or any other kind - ones that create
scenarios of win-loose, better than others, amassing booty etc.) by the time
they are 9? or hand crafting bow and arrows themselves, harnessing chi, or still
enjoying a good fantasy romp with their mum(s) or dad(s) in which they can
dabble in the warrior spirit, ideas of darkness, death, mastery, courage,
self-sacrifice, and the powers of nature...?

Channeling into sports, other forms of competetiveness, does not help them, in
my humble opinion , come to a deeper understanding of their urges, their
subconscious, their rationalizing of what society shows, their need for morals,
codes...bla, bla, bla.....

I would want them to play out all their urges, and socialize, meaning, come
slowly to realize that there's nothing we do that doesn't somewhere impact our
environment, the people, animals and plants.

Happy last day of bike to work week. With all that passion to fight, know,
learn, belong, be accepted that our children are showing us, let's all remember
how important it is to model compassion and gentleness to others, humans, all
life forms, and the planet.

That's my super rant!

How do you decide if a movie is appropriate for your child to watch?

I'm really just asking questions here, would love comments!

Are you concerned about violence, gore, sexual or sensual images, depictions of female and male role models, language, the blur between fantasy and reality, surreal images...?

Have your children seen any films that have affected them negatively?

What parental guidance websites do you use?

How important do you think it is that your child is developmentally capable of understanding and processing, not only the images, sounds etc, but the chore message of the film?

Do you discuss this with him / her?

How old is/are your children?

Would you take her / him / them to see:  The Fantastic Mr. Fox?  Alice In Wonderland?  Avatar?

Why / why not?

My son's (5.5) dad and I seem to have very different ideas about what and how much media is appropriate for our son.  I am struggling to come to terms with this, and help my son digest these three films he has seen with  his dad.  I would really appreciate any comments and recommendations on the above.

Thank you,
Belinda

TV, Scool, and Natural Feedback Circuits

Gatto writes in his Chapter, The Camino de Santiago, on p. 91 of Weapons of Mass Education:

"Feedback
Let me confess from the start I'm on the board of advisors of an organization called TV-Free America.  As a school teacher I found that the kids who drove me crazy were always big TV watchers.  Their behaviour profile wasn't pretty.  TV addicted kids were irresponsible, childish, dishonest, malicious to one another; above all else they seemed to lack any sustaining purpose of their own, as if by consuming too many made-up stories, modeling themselves after too many men and women who were pretending to be somebody else, listening to too many talking hamburgers and too many explanations of the way things are (sponsored by oil companies and dairy councils) they had lost the power to behave with integrity - to grow up.
     It was almost as if my stealing time children needed to write their own stories, television - like school itself - had dwarfed their spirits.  When computers came along, I saw they often made the problem worse.  Potentially, they were a better deal, because of the capacity to offer interactivity, but a majority of users I saw wallowed in porno, games spent playing against programs, not other people, and many spectator pursuits which required only consumption, not actively committed behavior.
     Even with the internet I saw how easy it was to cross the line into a passive state unless good disciplin was exercised, and I knew from experience how hard that was ot come by."

After realizing that preaching about TV's negative effects to kids wouldn't work,  Gatto writes, " Relief would have to come from a different quarter; if these things were truly as bad as I believed, if they diminished the intellect and corrupted the character as I felt, a solution would have to be found in the natural proclivity of the young to move around physically, not sit, before we suppress that urge with confinement to seats in school and with commercial blandishments to watch performers rather than to perform oneself.
     The master mechanism at work to cause harm was a suppression of natural feedback circuits which allow us to learn from our mistakes.  Somebody trying to learn to sail alone in a small boat will inevitably tack too far left and too far right when sailing into the wind, when the destination is straight ahead, but practice will correct that beginner's error because feedback will instruct the sailor's reaction and judgment.  In the area of mastering speech, with all its complex rhythms of syntax, and myriad notes and tones of diction, the most crucial variable is time spent in practice.  And in both instances the more challenging the situation, the quicker that competence is reached"
     "The absolute necessity for feedback from everywhere in taking an education (even from one's enemies) forced me to look closely at how rigidly students were ordered about - in a way which made little use of their innate ability to grow through feedback.  My guess was that by restoring this natural biological circuitry, the hideous displays of media-sickened behavior among my students would decline.  And the guess proved right."

Gatto goes on to describe some of his Guerrilla Curriculum, for example, sending them out on expeditions, where they could be face to face with reality, challenged by the nerve-wracking and exhilarating waters of real life... READ IT!

The bottom line is that most TV and most schooling encourages passivity, and in it's pre-packaged, factory style production of consumers of disconnected knowledge bits and stuff to buy, limits our natural born abilities to use feedback, learn from experience, self-correct, and enjoy challenging ourselves. 

Yep, Yep, Yep!

Screen Time and D's Review of Learning Web Sites

Ah, to reduce screen time or not, that is the question!

I recently had the wonderful privilege (thanks C.!) of attending Gordon Neufeld's latest conference in Vancouver.  This year's theme was Rest, Play, Grow.  One among hundreds of useful notions I brought home from this superb event, was the questioning of our use of screen time: in front of the computer or TV. 

Gordon believes that true growth (developmental) and learning only truly occur when children are at rest and filled up with love (unconditional acceptance, with all their needs met double!).  Yet, he bemoans, we make them work all the time, work for our love, work for attention, work to compete in and manage peer social situations, work for grades, rewards and approval, work for outcomes, rather than truly be at peace, secure in love and safety, and at rest, so that their minds can truly process, play with and come to understand their world and the part they play in it.  Gordon recommends that children need several hours a day of free play, alone play, a safe resting time, with no screen time.

What role does screen time play in your household?

In ours, I've tried to keep it minimal.  I believe our son watches a fair amount of TV shows and movies at his dad's.  Plus, he's a pretty over-scheduled little dude.  What with living in a joint custody arrangement, switching homes every other day during the work week, and alternating weekends, as well as having to transition between 2.5 mornings of pre-school, to the socializing with our home daycare kids, and then if he's lucky a few evenings a week of down time.  Now his dad has him enrolled in three evenings a week of extra-curricular classes, and one Saturday morning!  So with this in mind, I try to limit screen time if only to provide that wonderfully free-flow creative place that occurs when he's left to his own thoughts and devices.

We watch one movie every one to two weeks, either fiction or nature / science.  I may put on a short video during the day, if no naps occur, extremely infrequently, to get a "break" for myself.  Finally over the last two years, my son has experimented with three "learning" websites on line.  Which he pretty much self regulates now, using one perhaps once a month.  Many have claimed that reading websites have helped their children a lot.  I think that if Daniel spent more time with them, this might be the case for him.  So far, their influence has been hard to see, one small element in the wonderful variety of learning opportunities that my son experiences all the time.

Poisson Rouge is definitely worth checking out, with no advertising, or character /  brand recognition, pleasant sound effects, and an endless assortment of different types of games, learning tools, experiences with site, sound, shape, movement etc., this very simple site can be entertaining, introduce all kinds of concepts to a child, and give them practice in navigating on the computer, using a mouse to click, drag etc. and encouraging a little early "internet ethics".  The site starts on one page, designed as a play room, and by clicking on each toy or play thing, you are taken to different pages, each with another array of things to click on.  In other words, in order to find your way around, one must always go back.  Some beautiful simple ideas here.

http://www.poissonrouge.com/

Many have recommended Star Fall, and I do too, with it's phonetics, games, read longs and early readers, there's and endless supply of levels, and approaches, which, after two years, my son has still not exhausted.  At first he was not at all interested in the simple phonetics exercises, but now, after gaining more real time knowledge of sounds, sight words and the power of reading / writing, I notice he's going back to these exercises as if to consolidate what he already knows.  Star Fall introduced my son to Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, which fascinated him for ages.  He asked if he could watch the ballet, and this opened all kinds of other doors!  Also his interest in Greek Myths was peaked by their over-simplified version of Theseus and The Minator.  Now, he is well versed in the discussion of different versions of stories: comparative lit!!!

http://www.starfall.com/

We encountered Brainpop and did the trial - I believe it's the first two levels you get for free, and then you have to pay.  Another, largely phonetically based reading site, I like the fact that it introduces whole sounds right away:  'ee' for example.  It has funky animation with aliens etc., and cool sound effects, but relies mostly on rote learning, and that infuriating trick of making kids feel like they are interacting with the computer, like Dora shows: "Say, "ee"!___________Good that's right!"  Yeeechhh!

https://secure.brainpop.com/trial/step1/

I love my son's review of the two. "I like Brain Pop because I think the animation, sound effects and ideas are cool, but it's totally directed by the computer, you have to do what they tell you, and have no choices.  I prefer Star Fall because it's open ended, you can start or quit any activity, say whether you liked it or not, choose what kind of reading / learning you want to do, and choose any level you want.  That way is definitely better for learning.

Oh, boy, I have to tear myself away from the SCREEN!  And do some real time work!!!!!
AAcchhh!  Chow for now.

Gatto's Take on Compulsory US Education

I'm just embarking on John T. Gatto's book, Weapons of Mass Education, and can't resist quoting exerts from his prologue.  I'm not even sure if it's legal to essentially copy someone's writing like this onto one's blog...anyone know?

I'd love to know what others think.  Is Gatto too extreme?  Doe he misquote people, or skew quotes to suit his purpose? Is it really true?

The summary from the end says it all, p.xxii.  If it means anything to you at all, I urge you to read on, and in fact get the book.  I have put in bold stuff that speaks to me loudly.

`     "Now for the good news. Once you understand the logic behind modern schooling, it's tricks and traps are fairly easy to avoid.  School trains children to be employees and consumers; teach your own to be leaders and adventurers.  School teaches children to obey reflexively; teach your own to think critically and independently.  Well-schooled kids have a low thresh hold for boredom; help your own to develop an inner life so that they'll never be bored.  Urge them to take on serious material, in history,literature, philosophy, music, art, economics, theology - all the stuff school teachers know well enough to avoid.  Challenge your kids with plenty of solitude so that they can learn to enjoy their own company, to conduct inner dialogues.    Well-schooled people are conditioned to dread being alone, they seek constant companionship through the TV, the computer, the cell phone, and through shallow friendships quickly acquired, quickly abandoned.  Your children should have a more important life, and they can.
     First, though, wake up to what our schools really are: laboratories of experimentation on young minds, drill centers for the habits and attitudes that corporate society demands. Mandatory education serves children only incidentally; its real purpose is to turn them into servants. Don't let your own have their childhood's extended, not even for a day.  If David Farragut could take command of a captured British warship as a preteen, if Ben Franklin could apprentice himself to a printer at the same age (then put himself through a course of study that would choke a Yale student today), there's no telling what your own kids could do.  After a  long life, and thirty years in the public school trenches, I've concluded that genius is as common as dirt.  We suppress genius because we haven't yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women.  The solution, I think, is simple and glorious.  Let them manage themselves."

Bits and pieces from the beginning. P.xii to xxi.

"I taught for thirty years in some of the worst schools in Manhattan, and in some of the best, and during that time I became an expert of boredom.  Boredom was everywhere in my world, and if you asked the kids, as I often did, why they were so bored, they always gave me the same answers: They said the work was stupid, that it made no sense, that they already knew it.  They said they wanted to be doing something real, not just sitting around.  They said teachers didn't know much about their subjects and clearly weren't interested in learning more.  And the kids were right: their teachers were every bit as bored as they were.

By the time I finally retired in 1991, I had more than enough reason to think of our schools - with their long-term, cell-block style forced confinement of both students and teachers - as virtual  factories of childishness.  Yet I honestly could not see why they had to be that way.  My own experience revealed to me what many other teachers must learn a long the way, too, yet keep to themselves for for fear of reprisal: if we wanted we could easily and inexpensively jettison the old, stupid structures and help kids take and education rather than merely receive schooling.  We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight - simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids to truly competent adults, and by giving each student the autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then.
     But we don't do that.  And the more I asked why not, and persisted in thinking about the "problem" of schooling as an engineer might, the more I missed the point:  What if there is no "problem" with our schools?  What if they are the way they are, so expensively flying in the face of common sense and long experience in how children learn things, not because they are doing something wrong, but because they are doing something right?  Is it possible that George W. Bush accidentally spoke the truth when he said he would "leave no child behind"?  Could it be that our schools are designed to make sure not one of them ever really grows up?"

"Do we really need school?  I don't mean education, just forced schooling: six classes a day, five days a week, nine months a year, for twelve years.  Is this deadly routine really necessary?  And if so, for what?  Don't hide behind reading, writing, and arithmetic as rationale, because a million happy home-schoolers have surely put that banal justification to rest.  Even if they hadn't, a considerable number of well-known Americans never went through the twelve-year wringer our kids currently go through, and they turned out alright.  George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln?  Someone taught them to be sure, but they were not products of  school system, and not one of them was "graduated" from a secondary school.  Throughout most of American history, kids generally didn't go to high-school, yet the unschooled rose to be admirals, like Farragut; inventors, like Edison; captains of industry, like Carnegie and Rockefeller; writers, like Melville and Twain and Conrad; and even scholars, like Margaret Mead.

We have been taught (that is, schooled) in this country to think "success" is synonymous with, or at least dependent upon, "schooling", but historically that isn't true in either an  intellectual or a financial sense.  And plenty of people throughout the world today find ways to educate themselves without resorting to a system of compulsory secondary schools that all too often resemble prisons.   Why, then, do Americans confuse education with just such a  system?  What exactly is the purpose of our public schools?"

Gatto goes on to site and quote numerous powers and professionals involved in educational decision making whose words and work express the original and on-going purpose of compulsory mass education in the US.

H.L. Mencken, in The American Mercury, April 1924, wrote that the aim of public education is not "...to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence... Nothing could be farther from the truth.  The aim...is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.  That is its aim in the United states..and that is its aim everywhere else."

Lest Mencken, reputedly a satirist, not be taken seriously, Gatto explains how his article traces our education's template back to the military state of Prussia.

"William James alluded to it [the Prussian origin of our educational system] many times at the turn of the century.  Orestes Brownson, the hero of Christopher Lasch's 1991 book, The True and Only Heaven, was publicly denouncing the Pussianization of American school back in the 1840s.  Horace Mann's "Seventh annual Report" to the Massachusetts Board of Education in 1843 is essentially a paean to the land of Frederick the Great and a call for its schooling to be brought here.}"

"What shocks is that we should so eagerly have adopted one of the very worst aspects of Prussian culture: an educational system deliberately designed to produce mediocre intellects, to hamstring the inner life, to deny students appreciable leadership skills, and to ensure docile and incomplete citizens - all in order to render the populace "manageable"."

James Bryant Conant, president of Harvard for twenty years,WWI poison gas specialist, WWII executive of the Atomic bomb project, high commisioner of the American zone in Germany after WWII, and Gatto says, "truly one of the most influential figures of the Twentieth Century", wrote, in his 1959 book-length essay, The Child, the Parent,and the State, about the modern American educational system being the result of a "revolution" engineered between 1905 and 1930.  In this essay he directs the curious to Alexander Inglis's 1918 book, Principles of Secondary Education.

"Inglis, for whom an honor lecture in education is named, makes it perfectly clear that compulsory schooling on this continent was intended to be just what it had been for Prussia in the 1820s: a fifth column into the burgeoning democratic movement that threatened to give the peasants and the proletarians a voice at the bargaining table.  Modern, industrialized, compulsory schooling was to make a sort of surgical intervention into the prospective unity of these underclasses.  Divide children by subject, by age-grading, by constant rankings on tests, and by many other more subtle means, and it was unlikely that the ignorant mass of mankind, separated in childhood, would ever re-integrate into a dangerous whole."

"Lest you consider Inglis as isolated crank with a rather too cynical take on the educational enterprise, you should know he was hardly alone in championing these ideas.  Conant himself, building on the ideas of Horace Mann and others, campaigned tirelessly for an American school system designed along the same lines.  Men like George Peabody, who funded the cause of mandatory schooling throughout the South surely understood that the Prussian system was useful, in creating not only a harmless electorate and a servile labor force, but also a virtual herd of mindless consumers. In time a great number of industrial titans came to recognize the enormous profits to be had by cultivating and tending just such a  herd via public education, among them, Carnegie and J.D. Rockefeller."

"Woodrow Wilson, then president of Princeton University, said the following to the New York City School teacher's association in 1909: "We want one class of persons, a very much larger class, of necessity, in every society, to forgo the privileges of liberal education and fit themselves to perform specific difficult manual tasks."  But the motives behind these disgusting decisions that bring about these ends need not be class-based at all.  They can stem purely from fear, or from the by-now familiar belief that "efficiency" is the paramount virtue, rather than love, liberty, laughter or hope.  Above all, they can stem from simple greed."

"Mass production required mass consumption, and at the turn of the twentieth century most Americans considered it both unnatural and unwise to buy things they didn't actually need.  Mandatory schooling was a godsend on that count.  School didn't have to train kids in any direct sense to think they should consume non-stop, because it did something even better: it encouraged them not to think at all.  And that left them, sitting ducks for another great invention of the modern era - marketing.
    Now you needn't have studied marketing to know that there are two groups of people who can be convinced to consume more than they need to: addicts and children.  School has done a pretty good job of turning our children into addicts, but a spectacular job of turning our children into children.  Again, this is no accident.  Theorists from Plato to Rousseau to our own Dr. Inglis knew that if children could be cloistered with other children, stripped of responsibility and independence, encouraged to develop only the trivializing emotions of greed, envy, jealousy, and fear, they would grow older, but never grow up.  In the 1934 edition of his once well-known book, Public Education in The United States, Ellwood P. Cubberley detailed and praised the way the successive school enlargements had extended childhood by two to six years already, and forced schooling was at that point still quite new.  This same Cubberley was an intimate colleague of Dr. Inglis: both were in charge of textbook publishing divisions at Houghton Mifflin - Cubberley as chief of elementary texts; Inglis of secondary texts``.  Cubberley was dean of Stanford's influential school of education as well, a friendly correspondent of Conant at Harvard.  He had written in his book Public School administration (1922) that "Our schools are..factories in which the raw products (children) are to be shaped and fashioned...And that is the business of the school to build its pupils according to the specifications laid down."
     It's perfectly obvious from our society today what those specifications were.  Maturity has by now been banished from nearly every aspect of our lives.  Easy divorce laws have removed the need to work at our relationships; easy credit has removed the need for fiscal self-control; easy entertainment has removed the need to learn to entertain oneself; easy answers have removed the need to ask questions.  We have become a nation of children, happy to surrender our judgments and our wills to political exhortations and commercial blandishments that would insult actual adults.  We buy televisions, and then we buy the things we see on the television.  We buy $150 sneakers whether we need them or no, and when they fall apart too soon we buy another pair.  We drive SUVs and believe the lie that they constitute a kind of life insurance, even when we're upside down in them.  And, worst of all, we don't bat an eye when Ari Fleischer tells us "be careful what you say," even if we remember having been told somewhere back in school that America is the land of the free.  We simply buy that one, too.  Our schooling, as intended, has seen to it."

Do you teach your children religion or spirituality?

Around the age of three, my son became interested in discussing Halloween and The Day of the Dead.  We'd found a board book on the Mexican tradition and it helped to introduce a discussion for us of both traditions from different cultures (his papa is from Mexico) and ideas about death, rebirth, and the cycles of nature.

At the time, we had a friend who was sick and seemed to be close to death.  My son wanted to understand.  Is it too young?  Should children be sheltered from such realities until older?  What if it is their reality?

My son wanted to know.  Many other children I have met and cared for have shown interest in the many hidden and mysterious aspects of life.

How do we teach or guide them through this curiosity?

Portraying death and the cycling of nature as "natural" - let that pumpkin rot on the patio and take it to the compost or leave it in the yard for its ceremonious return to the earth!

We spoke of the notions of spirits, ghosts, heaven, human's scientific knowledge of the breakdown of life into death and regeneration...always as 'Some people believe...Others believe....I personally believe...what do you think?'

It might be different for a family that believes in a specific religion or spiritual way and dearly wants to pass on this knowledge and the 'code of behaviour / mind' that may belong to it....

In my humble experience, whether you choose the route of pluralism, tolerance, relativity or one of guided spiritual / moral /religious teachings, children are drawn intuitively and happily to the mysteries.

My son loved the poster we made of the cycles of nature, with the leaves and seeds falling, rotting, mingling with earth, the new life sprouting forth, the trees and humans ever reaching to the skies, the roughly drawn, almost invisible spirits floating up among the leaves and clouds.  For him, these figures were no more or less real than witches, fairies, dragons, dinosaurs....

At an early age, he awoke one morning, laying in bed beside me, to ask where I thought the spirit was.  I replied, 'I'm not sure, what do you think?'  He pointed up to the ceiling and said, 'Up there.' 'Where, above or below the ceiling?'  I asked. 'Both above and below.  It is everywhere.' says he.  I had not spoken these words to him.

At first, he had no fears of death, skeletons, the symbols we see in Halloween, then gradually they started.  Since then his expressions of belief, fear, wonder have wafted, based on cultural and media exposure, growing awareness, the steady development of rationalizing fears, risk factors, and, in tow, the joys of wonderment.

He is a story-teller by nature and has largely grasped the value of flights of fantasy, the power our imagination has, the escape, the sense of self power and connection to the vastness and mystery of life....

These musings that help our children make connections between themselves and their natural surroundings - 'Look mum, I see signs of raspberries, from the flower comes the fruit, from the fruit comes the seed...', 'Mum, if you close your eyes to slits and look at the sun, you can see volcanoes erupting on the surface - it's amazing, you should try it.  Just think how hot it is, but we can't live without it."  These musings that help our children make connections between themselves and the people and society around them, aging folk, sick folk, homeless folk, growing up, change, time....'We have a long life ahead of us', says my son to a friend who doesn't want to grow up, 'We have many dreams to live, don't worry.'

Are these musings any less important than learning to read, write, calculate, shop, socialize, watch TV?

In a consumer world of cars, pollution, fashion, Barbies, and Bionicles, what would we have our children dream of when they lay in bed?

Some time after my son had encountered Star Wars around the age of four, he awoke again laying in bed beside me to say: 'You know, mum, many people don't believe in the force, but if they just closed their eyes and concentrated, they could feel it, everyone has it, it's up there, out there everywhere, you just need to believe in it and you will feel it.  It can help you a lot to be brave and concentrate.'

Of course he still spends most of his time imagining the battles, the weapons, the armor, but the force will always be with him (I hope).

Peter Pan's message that fairies will cease to exist if we don't believe in them has helped.

Always, when I spin fantastical tales about how statues used to be real but were turned to stone by some evil sorcerer for some reason or other, like they held the secret for saving the planet etc., his doubts appear: 'Are you making this up, mum?'  It's up to you to decide I say.

He's latched on to the idea that the hidden mysteries are useful, palpable, delicious, and life-empowering.  And so he has the power of wonderment, questing.  Is this bad?   I think not.

I've noticed that the children love the Greek Myths, First Nations' Tales and many others that embody powers or nature and animals.  I believe it's natural, as children grow to experience otherness outside of their own bodies and those of their parents and other attached care-givers, they start to experience the dogs, birds, planes, trucks, bugs, trees waving in the wind, lightening -  they yearn not only for names and explanations, but also identities, forces, essences, relationships (morals?), mostly stories that bind.

Have you compared the original "Little Mermaid" to the Disney "Ariel" ?  In the former, the women are all empowered, none are evil or stupid or meek, the story line is about death, eternal life, rebirth, sacrifice for the good of others, love, personal choice and transformation.  Wow!  How much children's stories have changed!

I am absolutely blessed to be raising my own boy, and have the great privilege of sharing in the raising of others' children.  My boy is fascinated by, among many other things, fighting, warriors, heroes and war-play.  Yet, when we make up stories with Bionicles (Have you seen the world they inhabit?) he begs for my story lines, that usually begin with something like: 'I'm only a skeleton of my former self, I'm on a quest to recover my heart / spirit, will you help me?'

Our children are yearning for meaning, and I believe, much more meaning than ABC, 2+2=4, and if you boil water it turns into a gas.  They are yearning to exercise one of the many gifts they are born with, likely the most important gift, the gift to imagine, and with this gift, the power to create hope and solutions for their future and far beyond, to feel intimately inter-connected and cherish life in all its forms and expressions.

I would pray with all my childhood wonder (I thank my mother and father for this) that we would not neglect this teaching through the myriad of forms we have available to us in our times.

There is no greater task.

What of Religion / Spriituality

A post from yahoo group, parents on the Drive in response to questions and concerns about children being taught religion in daycare/pre-school.....

Just as a potential farmer may be born into a family of academics that push their youngster, who would rather dig in the dirt and plant seeds, towards "higher" academic learning, so a family of antheists /agnsotics may have a child who yearns for spiritual / mystical / godly connection....tricky stuff!  

I love this topic!! I love too, what you, Yvette said about hearts, well chosen, beautiful words!

My son started asking 'spiritual questions' early, and I run a home daycare. I have chosen to tell mythical and moral tales at our daycare, some Christian, some Buddhist, many Greek, pagan etc. Children are naturally drawn to deep meaning, moral tales, fantasy, and roles of dark and light, cycles, powers of nature...this is why they love fairy tales AND super heroes, many children as young as four will love to tell you what they believe in and find out if you agree, so my approach has always been to go with their interest, explain that different people believe different stories, that in each their is a seed of knowledge that they may enjoy or relate to, that each person as they grow comes to their own belief. If a child wants ot see the inside of a church or temple, in we go! Why not?

I've watched my son's vision of Santa be destroyed by an older child's non-belief....it was hard, but considering where we live, I think these discussions amoungst children, and between children and adults will come at some point, no? Better than, do you prefer puma or nike, no?

We live in a pluralistic society, children want to know from us, primarily what we believe as their parents. At daycare or school if they are being "force-fed" some ideas you don't believe in (of course you should discuss this with the staff, yet...consumer culture is force-feeding us all around!), then you can and should be able to tell your own story and your child will most likely want more than anything else to come to understand it - yours!

My parents had two different religions, neither of which they were that attached to. Instead, they chose to 'grace' us with ideas of tolerance, a smattering of the pagan roots of Christianity, a good dose of history, and finally, atheism. Still, by the age of 10, I was very interested in world religions and of my own accord decided to visit a variety of places of worship...

Can't I Take all The Credit?

I was thinking a little today, that perhaps I couldn't take all the credit for Daniel's interest in writing.  Sure, he showed interest long before experiences with preschool, though it waned for a while - due to his experiences in his first preschool, I'm sure!  What fascinates me is interest-driven learning.  At Christmas he was so interested in writing labels for presents that he'd chosen himself, he wants to write / copy sentences in little books he creates, sometimes with my help, at Montessori preschool, he writes the words he's supposed to write according to phonetics he's been studying: nip, snip, tip, but then, he writes 'Nerf' and 'Bionicle'.  Often when he draws, he tries spelling out a word, a lable, or title for his pictures..all based on things he loves.
So, does all of this initiative come from his being encouraged to be free, to follow his interests, from my examples of writing, and all the little activities I've presented to him: letter recognition, the alphabet song, reading signs, non-stop reading at home, signing his name to pictures (he's never wanted to, still doesn't), letter tracing, sand-paper letters, finger painting, gell-bags, scrabble letters, writing out his dictated stories, making cartoon books with him, writing shopping lists, playing with movable type, magnets, stamps, cutting out letters from magazines, finding letters in print, discussing and practicing, capitals, lower case, cursive writing, labeling stuff in the house with names,  and so on and so on??

I suspect that at Montessori preschool, his extensive work with insets and his teacher's gentle guidance has really helped him improve his 'pincer' grip (Is that what it's called?).  I recall trying to tell Daniel many times to hold his pencil that way, and he'd balk at my suggestion, yet when he started to learn it at school, he'd come home at tell me 'how to hold a pencil'!  His teachers have told me that he's shown a lot of interest in reading and learning phonetics.  Daniel himself says he doesn't like doing it, but has nothing else to do there.  Still, he's excited about knowing sounds, and trying to spell them.  Montessori has given him practice in this without a doubt!  Would he be more or less interested or able if he wasn't attending Montessori?  Hard to say.  All I know, is the stuff he really creates, does of his own accord, is always interest-based.  He wants to write and learn to read!  He doesn't like too much pressure!  He's well on his way.  I believe he would have been regardless of attending preschool or not!  Let's see what the next months / year hold.  Hopefully, all positive!

Don't ask why some pictures are sideways!

Daniel's First Sentence

This evening while I was cooking dinner, Daniel wrote his first sentence:  "Dans is Won Ton." It was inspired by a book we bought yesterday that fascinated Daniel with all it's images of characters especially one called Won Ton who looks kind of like a cross between a mummy and a Ninja.  Daniel copied the words 'Dans' and 'Won Ton' from the book, but figured out 'is' for himself  He did this all of his own accord!  He even at the last minute remembered that to end a sentence you need a dot!  Note on punctuation: More than a year ago, I was writing out a story that Daniel was dictating, and he noticed the comas I was using and asked what they were.  I explained, and even showed him the title of "Panda, eats, shoots, and leaves" by...to explain the use of comas.  He got it!  For several weeks after, he would notice and ask about comas, periods, exclamation marks etc.  So, long before he showed and interest in sentences, he was aware of their uses.  They are simple signs, easy to recognise, and therefore often attractive to young children not yet able to read.  In cartoon books, the exclamation marks stand out, help make the words louder...why not teach them early?!

Daniel's Reading List March

Secret Agent Jack Stalwart, The Escape of the Deadly Dinosaur, by E.S. Hunt
Daniel says he liked this book because he liked the character and all the adventure and the tools he uses.

Days With Frog and Toad, A Lobel.
We read these over and over, especially the story, Shivers.   Daniel is keenly aware of the words, can recognize some, but mostly enjoys these stories for their simple, easy to understand look at real human feelings, personified by the animals: friendship, fear, aloneness, responsibility...

Spiderman, Worst Enemies DK Readers (2), by Catherine Saunde
Daniel loves this for gathering info on his super heroes, studying the drawings, often copying hte art or asking me to do out-line copies for him to colour in.  He will often browse through them alone, trying to guess what words mean or sound them out.

Franny K.  Stein Mad Scientist, The Fran That Time Forgot, by J. Benton
Daniel loved this book for it's illustrations, mad scientist character, and chaotic, inventor's bedroom.  It was a great inspiration for a discussion on time, and if you could go back, how things might have been different.

Jeremy Kooloo, by T.Mahurin
This is a cleverly done book with beautiful illustrations.  Each word in the story starts with A, then B, etc  It is humorous, and Daniel wanted it read again and again, and laughed his head off at it.  He then went through a stage where he wanted it read backwards, he's been asking for that a lot, looking for the playfulness and logic in sounds.  I've caught him "reading" this book several times both forward and backwards to the our home daycare children.

Socialization

When you bring up home learning in a conversation, inevitably the question of socialization arises.  A very good question indeed.  What a big word.  What does it mean to you?

One simple answer might be to become a member of society, to fit in and belong.  But there are so many other aspects involved:                                   

• Making friends, choosing your own friends, not those chosen for you by your parents.
• Learning to get a long with different types of people, even those you don't share much in common with or like much.
• Learning to collaborate, interrupt, make suggestions, debate, stand up for your opinions, disagree, compete, concede, consider others before yourself.
• Learning to respect authority, respect difference, respect your gifts, your role, respect the planet.
• Learning to follow rules, orders.
• Learning to stand up to a bully, rudeness, others' judgements, being put down or disrespected by adults as well as children.
• Learning to be tough, bully back, or simply hide your feelings, become invisible enough that no one will notice that you are "dumber" or "smarter".
• Learning to look to those older or in higher positions of power for the answers, the right way, the rules, approval.
• Learning to fear or disrespect these same authority figures who seem to have little knowledge of your needs, interests or true skills.
• Learning get along with many members of society, of any age, make friends with any age, learn from people of any age, choose your own teachers, your own team-members, those you work well together with.
• Learning to take responsibility for your actions, your choices, learn to be self-motivated, and worthy, and honour your participation in society.
• Learn to become a cog or a wheel.
• Learn to be cool, fit in, wear the right clothes, attach to right group, who share the same image, brand loyalty, cause or pass-time as you.
• Learn to be unique, confident, original.
• Become a member of a tribe, a community, a gang - belong.
• Learn to hold an intelligent conversation with a three year old or a 70 year old.
• Have the skills to not only show respect to those two, but also share interests, and concern for their well-being.
• Learn how the world works, what people do for jobs, how they interact, how they learned what they do, what family relations are.
• Be able to socialize when you feel like it, get quiet time, or time alone when you need it.
• Learn to copy your peers so that you don't get ostracized or lose friends.

The list can go on, and on, and on, there are so many things involved.  It is very worthwhile, I believe, for each of us to ask not only what socialization is, but also what we perceive as positive or negative socialization.  Many who choose home learning, do so as they believe that school offers more negative than positive, or perhaps better put that society at large, offers so many more positives than school.

I tend to agree.   The two boys that Daniel has become close with other than his neighbourhood friends, the children he's met through our home daycare, and friends he's met through his family connections, are home learner's we met in a small group that gathered for about a year and then disbanded.  Though, each of the three boys come from very different families, with rather distinct value systems, and one a year older, the other two years older than Daniel, they get along very well.

When is it that any adult has to spend most of the day together with a group of 15 or 30 people exactly the same age?  Why is it so important for children to learn this?  How does this help prepare them to be functional members of society?

So far, I think Daniel is doing well, has managed the waters of the group daycare his dad sent him to, and the preschool experience fairly well.  I believe most wholeheartedly in attachment parenting, the continuum concept, the work of Gordon Neufeld, and what some advocates of home schooling have written, that above all else, children need secure attachments, respectful loving bonds with adults.  They can have these with their teachers.  But so often the case is as children start to detach from their parents, start in daycare, preschool, kindergarten, their emotional and security needs are not met by the adults there, and they look to their peers for this security.  I have noticed a little of this with Daniel.

But luckily, he has spent a lot of time in secure attachment with me, his father, and a couple of other care-givers, and he is blossoming as a social being.  Having his emotional needs for security met, he is free to branch into the larger social network, find friends, test ideas, care for others, extend trust.

He can be shy at times, much less so than before, but still very selective in who he wants to meet and greet, who he will choose as a new friend to play with in the park.  He is slow to trust, but once he's built a relationship, will usually keep it.  I have learned that he is much more comfortable in smaller groups, and tends to either balk at large crowds, or cling more, need more adult interaction, or simply get very hyper - my guess as a way of dealing with the stress.  I have seen him go up to a new child and invite him to play, and I have seen him hang on to my leg and beg me to help him ask a child if he can join the game.  I've watched Daniel totally ignore an adult who tries to engage with him, and at another time, seek out, and introduce himself to an adult he is interested in.

Daniel has had experience with many different groups of people, many children of all ages, many different kinds of adults.  Adults often think he is much older than he is because he is often willing to engage them in a "deep" conversation.  He can play with children much younger and much older than himself, organize games, discuss rules, acknowledge and compliment others ideas or efforts.  Until recently he has been very aware of others needs, shown compassion to others.  I see this waning in the past few months....and am not completely sure why.


I don't believe he has learned these social skills in the large daycare center he went to briefly or the small Montessori preschool he attends presently 2/3 mornings a week.  I believe he learned this from me and his father, from his experience in the world around him, and mostly his experiences hanging out at home, out and about in different social settings with me and the other children in my care.  In many ways, it is like having a larger family, where the bonds, respect, and ways of being, co-existing, develop over time, as the trust is built. We experience frustration and joy, learning to set boundaries, learning to work together, teaching and caring for the younger ones, learning from, standing up against, and reasoning with the older ones.  There is time for this trust to build, time to discover commonalities and roles, calm and space to reflect, withdraw from the crowd, make choices, express needs, and also importantly have enough adults around to model life skills, communication skills, real work, and give the loving nurturing that a growing child needs.

Kindergarten In The Fall

Well, I'm in the process of mourning the fact that my super smart little self-directed wonder boy will be attending Kindergarten next September.  What a change that's going to be.  I'm sad about it, he's sad about it, but I am trying to help him look on the bright side, that as with everything new we try, it will be a learning experience, a chance for him to explore in new ways, with new people.  He's become very verbal about how he learns and opinions about different ways of learning and how he'd like to use his time, and he's quite sure he won't like school. He may be wrong.

How has this happened?  Well, as Daniel says, similarly about his swim classes, "It's not for me, but for my dad, it makes him happy, it's what he wants.  He doesn't understand home schooling."  Daniel has also said, "It's ok mum, we can still home school after school."  And he's right!  I know that whatever comes our way, whatever we meet, we will work with.  I'm hoping at least to guide him in learning that, to be flexible and work within the restrictions life throws us.

Daniel on Montessori Pre School

"I'm the kind of kid who likes to explore, search, find the right path....
That's why my Montessori pre-school is so boring for me, you can only do the things you already know, again and again, but can't explore the new works until someone shows you, can't work on it and figure it out yourself.", said my little dude.
I said, "Yeh, I know."

Why does he go, then?  You may ask.  It is something his father has chosen for him.  I think it has been a fairly good learning experience, a taste of what a certain kind of "school" can be like, a chance to meet people away from his mother or father, to work with some other adults.  He has spent a lot of time doing metal insets, a kind of stencil that helps children learn pencil control.  This has given him a chance to do a lot of drawing which he does on the back of or inside his stenciled shapes.  He's discovered he likes art, likes to draw, create, and has much more control now of pens and pencils.  For a long time it is mostly what he did there, a way of passing time in silence that has now become something he does at home too.  He's also become a pretty good teacher both in my style, and in the Montessori style.  His teachers have said that he's wonderful with the other children, mostly younger than him, patient, a good role model.  Hhhhm, I wonder where he got that practice from?
There's more to be said....later perhaps.
All in all, I believe he feels it's a waste of time, and I tend to agree, with the same time he could be doing other kinds of classes.  Exploring more deeply ideas and activities that he's really interested in.

A Sunday in the Life...

I was inspired this morning, waking up leisurely beside my dear sweet darling, to note down the amazing things Daniel does on weekend days we don't rush off on some planned adventure.

Under the covers in bed, Daniel noticed that you could see the coloured squares printed on the top through the dark under layer.  (He's noticed this many times in five years, but hadn't mentioned it in a while - or we hadn't hid under the covers together in a while...) "Look at the squares!  They are so beautiful.  Do you know what the most beautifulest combinations are?  Red and green, and blue and red...like beautiful glass tiles decorating a floor!"  (Has Daniel ever seen a glass tiled floor?)

On getting out of bed, craft supplies still strewn on the floor, Daniel announced he was going to make a Death Star out of tape and two plastic recycled dome shaped things (mocha covers??).  While I was making coffee and a breakfast shake, Daniel started practicing letters, tracing and then free form in a simple work-book we have.  "Do you want to see a sideways 'm'?" He asked me, running into the kitchen.  He showed me the capital 'B'.  "It's basically an 'm', except it has a line at the bottom." Said D.

Later, while I made a list of the errands and activities around The Drive for the day, Daniel carefully watched my writing, he suggested I draw pictures, so he could remember what each note said, and practice his reading.

Then he asked if he could do more work from the little activity books we bought at The Richmond Bog Centre yesterday.  He did some connect the dots, a Komodo Dragon, while asking me about the numbers, learning the look of 15, 16, 21, 22 etc. Then did another connect the dots which were block letters, after doing the first two: 'G and L' he guessed the word must be 'glide' something.  He then decided to colour the pictures in....

In the first hour of the day, Daniel has done at least half a day of Kindergarten....hhhhmmmm...or not, he hasn't done much lining up.

Daniel will build out of anything! Even Tampons! #2 Frustration at Failure

I wanted to add to the previous post, but couldn't figure out how to add text next to the photos!!!  Golly, it's hard to write a blog.
The first photo in that blog shows a structure with two green wheels and a square column made from a plastic and magnet toy, can't remember the name - Magnatex??  The night he made that he did a wonderful job processing frustration.  I'd forgotten about it until now.  Daniel seems to get very frustrated when things don't go well, when he makes mistakes or can't achieve what he or others expect of him.  He cries, gets mad, sometimes gives up.  This is more recent, perhaps just only in the last year.  I've always thought of him as very determined to try and try, but lately he seems have more issues around failing.  Could it be the use of rewards or too much praise for success?  Could it be the effect of preschool?  It could just be his personality.  I remember when he was younger he would just go and go until he mastered something, amazing determination form a very early age.

This particular night, he'd built the square column, upright, with a wheel at the bottom and at the top.  It was hollow, and he'd filled the inside with all the extra metal balls (that are used to bind the magnetic corners of the square and other shaped pieces) - they are heavy.  His plan was to lower the column into the horizontal position, but every time he tried this, the weight inside would cause the column to fall apart.  I was in the kitchen cooking.  The first few times, I could hear his frustration at his structure breaking apart, but he'd rebuild.  Then the next time he tried he cried, exclaiming he couldn't do it!  I came in to see what he was trying, and suggested he try again, and not give up; that having problems was a big part of building / inventing. Through our mistakes we learn I urged.  Again it broke and he got really upset.  So, I did a little NVC focusing on his frustration and what he'd like to see happen and asked if he'd like some help.  When he "allowed" me to give him advice.  We talked about the weight of the metal balls and the strength of his structure.  By asking questions, I helped him to arrive at the notion that fewer metal balls might help, and perhaps, laying the structure down horizontally first, then opening up the "hatch" and putting one ball in at a time, to see how much weight it would hold.  We talked about the inventive and scientific process, trial and error, how if things don't work one way, it doesn't mean you have failed, in fact, you have learned something valuable, and can now try a different way.  We also talked about how it's ok to feel frustrated or mad, but that rather than let that feeling make you quit, you can still keep trying and find another way.  At that point I left to finish cooking dinner, again, Daniel went to work, I think the model must have broken at least five times all together, yet, finally he got the result he wanted, and was so proud of himself.

What a valuable experience!  I have learned too, that Daniel has a longer frustration resistance span when not interrupted and left to work out problems by himself.  If I swoop in and offer advice too early, and it doesn't work, his frustration is likely to peek way sooner.  Instead, he and I together have established a learning way where, he asks when he needs help, I ask permission to help or advise.  It works very well.

More Dance - The Summer