Do you teach your children religion or spirituality?

Around the age of three, my son became interested in discussing Halloween and The Day of the Dead.  We'd found a board book on the Mexican tradition and it helped to introduce a discussion for us of both traditions from different cultures (his papa is from Mexico) and ideas about death, rebirth, and the cycles of nature.

At the time, we had a friend who was sick and seemed to be close to death.  My son wanted to understand.  Is it too young?  Should children be sheltered from such realities until older?  What if it is their reality?

My son wanted to know.  Many other children I have met and cared for have shown interest in the many hidden and mysterious aspects of life.

How do we teach or guide them through this curiosity?

Portraying death and the cycling of nature as "natural" - let that pumpkin rot on the patio and take it to the compost or leave it in the yard for its ceremonious return to the earth!

We spoke of the notions of spirits, ghosts, heaven, human's scientific knowledge of the breakdown of life into death and regeneration...always as 'Some people believe...Others believe....I personally believe...what do you think?'

It might be different for a family that believes in a specific religion or spiritual way and dearly wants to pass on this knowledge and the 'code of behaviour / mind' that may belong to it....

In my humble experience, whether you choose the route of pluralism, tolerance, relativity or one of guided spiritual / moral /religious teachings, children are drawn intuitively and happily to the mysteries.

My son loved the poster we made of the cycles of nature, with the leaves and seeds falling, rotting, mingling with earth, the new life sprouting forth, the trees and humans ever reaching to the skies, the roughly drawn, almost invisible spirits floating up among the leaves and clouds.  For him, these figures were no more or less real than witches, fairies, dragons, dinosaurs....

At an early age, he awoke one morning, laying in bed beside me, to ask where I thought the spirit was.  I replied, 'I'm not sure, what do you think?'  He pointed up to the ceiling and said, 'Up there.' 'Where, above or below the ceiling?'  I asked. 'Both above and below.  It is everywhere.' says he.  I had not spoken these words to him.

At first, he had no fears of death, skeletons, the symbols we see in Halloween, then gradually they started.  Since then his expressions of belief, fear, wonder have wafted, based on cultural and media exposure, growing awareness, the steady development of rationalizing fears, risk factors, and, in tow, the joys of wonderment.

He is a story-teller by nature and has largely grasped the value of flights of fantasy, the power our imagination has, the escape, the sense of self power and connection to the vastness and mystery of life....

These musings that help our children make connections between themselves and their natural surroundings - 'Look mum, I see signs of raspberries, from the flower comes the fruit, from the fruit comes the seed...', 'Mum, if you close your eyes to slits and look at the sun, you can see volcanoes erupting on the surface - it's amazing, you should try it.  Just think how hot it is, but we can't live without it."  These musings that help our children make connections between themselves and the people and society around them, aging folk, sick folk, homeless folk, growing up, change, time....'We have a long life ahead of us', says my son to a friend who doesn't want to grow up, 'We have many dreams to live, don't worry.'

Are these musings any less important than learning to read, write, calculate, shop, socialize, watch TV?

In a consumer world of cars, pollution, fashion, Barbies, and Bionicles, what would we have our children dream of when they lay in bed?

Some time after my son had encountered Star Wars around the age of four, he awoke again laying in bed beside me to say: 'You know, mum, many people don't believe in the force, but if they just closed their eyes and concentrated, they could feel it, everyone has it, it's up there, out there everywhere, you just need to believe in it and you will feel it.  It can help you a lot to be brave and concentrate.'

Of course he still spends most of his time imagining the battles, the weapons, the armor, but the force will always be with him (I hope).

Peter Pan's message that fairies will cease to exist if we don't believe in them has helped.

Always, when I spin fantastical tales about how statues used to be real but were turned to stone by some evil sorcerer for some reason or other, like they held the secret for saving the planet etc., his doubts appear: 'Are you making this up, mum?'  It's up to you to decide I say.

He's latched on to the idea that the hidden mysteries are useful, palpable, delicious, and life-empowering.  And so he has the power of wonderment, questing.  Is this bad?   I think not.

I've noticed that the children love the Greek Myths, First Nations' Tales and many others that embody powers or nature and animals.  I believe it's natural, as children grow to experience otherness outside of their own bodies and those of their parents and other attached care-givers, they start to experience the dogs, birds, planes, trucks, bugs, trees waving in the wind, lightening -  they yearn not only for names and explanations, but also identities, forces, essences, relationships (morals?), mostly stories that bind.

Have you compared the original "Little Mermaid" to the Disney "Ariel" ?  In the former, the women are all empowered, none are evil or stupid or meek, the story line is about death, eternal life, rebirth, sacrifice for the good of others, love, personal choice and transformation.  Wow!  How much children's stories have changed!

I am absolutely blessed to be raising my own boy, and have the great privilege of sharing in the raising of others' children.  My boy is fascinated by, among many other things, fighting, warriors, heroes and war-play.  Yet, when we make up stories with Bionicles (Have you seen the world they inhabit?) he begs for my story lines, that usually begin with something like: 'I'm only a skeleton of my former self, I'm on a quest to recover my heart / spirit, will you help me?'

Our children are yearning for meaning, and I believe, much more meaning than ABC, 2+2=4, and if you boil water it turns into a gas.  They are yearning to exercise one of the many gifts they are born with, likely the most important gift, the gift to imagine, and with this gift, the power to create hope and solutions for their future and far beyond, to feel intimately inter-connected and cherish life in all its forms and expressions.

I would pray with all my childhood wonder (I thank my mother and father for this) that we would not neglect this teaching through the myriad of forms we have available to us in our times.

There is no greater task.