Can't I Take all The Credit?

I was thinking a little today, that perhaps I couldn't take all the credit for Daniel's interest in writing.  Sure, he showed interest long before experiences with preschool, though it waned for a while - due to his experiences in his first preschool, I'm sure!  What fascinates me is interest-driven learning.  At Christmas he was so interested in writing labels for presents that he'd chosen himself, he wants to write / copy sentences in little books he creates, sometimes with my help, at Montessori preschool, he writes the words he's supposed to write according to phonetics he's been studying: nip, snip, tip, but then, he writes 'Nerf' and 'Bionicle'.  Often when he draws, he tries spelling out a word, a lable, or title for his pictures..all based on things he loves.
So, does all of this initiative come from his being encouraged to be free, to follow his interests, from my examples of writing, and all the little activities I've presented to him: letter recognition, the alphabet song, reading signs, non-stop reading at home, signing his name to pictures (he's never wanted to, still doesn't), letter tracing, sand-paper letters, finger painting, gell-bags, scrabble letters, writing out his dictated stories, making cartoon books with him, writing shopping lists, playing with movable type, magnets, stamps, cutting out letters from magazines, finding letters in print, discussing and practicing, capitals, lower case, cursive writing, labeling stuff in the house with names,  and so on and so on??

I suspect that at Montessori preschool, his extensive work with insets and his teacher's gentle guidance has really helped him improve his 'pincer' grip (Is that what it's called?).  I recall trying to tell Daniel many times to hold his pencil that way, and he'd balk at my suggestion, yet when he started to learn it at school, he'd come home at tell me 'how to hold a pencil'!  His teachers have told me that he's shown a lot of interest in reading and learning phonetics.  Daniel himself says he doesn't like doing it, but has nothing else to do there.  Still, he's excited about knowing sounds, and trying to spell them.  Montessori has given him practice in this without a doubt!  Would he be more or less interested or able if he wasn't attending Montessori?  Hard to say.  All I know, is the stuff he really creates, does of his own accord, is always interest-based.  He wants to write and learn to read!  He doesn't like too much pressure!  He's well on his way.  I believe he would have been regardless of attending preschool or not!  Let's see what the next months / year hold.  Hopefully, all positive!

Don't ask why some pictures are sideways!

Daniel's First Sentence

This evening while I was cooking dinner, Daniel wrote his first sentence:  "Dans is Won Ton." It was inspired by a book we bought yesterday that fascinated Daniel with all it's images of characters especially one called Won Ton who looks kind of like a cross between a mummy and a Ninja.  Daniel copied the words 'Dans' and 'Won Ton' from the book, but figured out 'is' for himself  He did this all of his own accord!  He even at the last minute remembered that to end a sentence you need a dot!  Note on punctuation: More than a year ago, I was writing out a story that Daniel was dictating, and he noticed the comas I was using and asked what they were.  I explained, and even showed him the title of "Panda, eats, shoots, and leaves" by...to explain the use of comas.  He got it!  For several weeks after, he would notice and ask about comas, periods, exclamation marks etc.  So, long before he showed and interest in sentences, he was aware of their uses.  They are simple signs, easy to recognise, and therefore often attractive to young children not yet able to read.  In cartoon books, the exclamation marks stand out, help make the words louder...why not teach them early?!

Daniel's Reading List March

Secret Agent Jack Stalwart, The Escape of the Deadly Dinosaur, by E.S. Hunt
Daniel says he liked this book because he liked the character and all the adventure and the tools he uses.

Days With Frog and Toad, A Lobel.
We read these over and over, especially the story, Shivers.   Daniel is keenly aware of the words, can recognize some, but mostly enjoys these stories for their simple, easy to understand look at real human feelings, personified by the animals: friendship, fear, aloneness, responsibility...

Spiderman, Worst Enemies DK Readers (2), by Catherine Saunde
Daniel loves this for gathering info on his super heroes, studying the drawings, often copying hte art or asking me to do out-line copies for him to colour in.  He will often browse through them alone, trying to guess what words mean or sound them out.

Franny K.  Stein Mad Scientist, The Fran That Time Forgot, by J. Benton
Daniel loved this book for it's illustrations, mad scientist character, and chaotic, inventor's bedroom.  It was a great inspiration for a discussion on time, and if you could go back, how things might have been different.

Jeremy Kooloo, by T.Mahurin
This is a cleverly done book with beautiful illustrations.  Each word in the story starts with A, then B, etc  It is humorous, and Daniel wanted it read again and again, and laughed his head off at it.  He then went through a stage where he wanted it read backwards, he's been asking for that a lot, looking for the playfulness and logic in sounds.  I've caught him "reading" this book several times both forward and backwards to the our home daycare children.

Socialization

When you bring up home learning in a conversation, inevitably the question of socialization arises.  A very good question indeed.  What a big word.  What does it mean to you?

One simple answer might be to become a member of society, to fit in and belong.  But there are so many other aspects involved:                                   

• Making friends, choosing your own friends, not those chosen for you by your parents.
• Learning to get a long with different types of people, even those you don't share much in common with or like much.
• Learning to collaborate, interrupt, make suggestions, debate, stand up for your opinions, disagree, compete, concede, consider others before yourself.
• Learning to respect authority, respect difference, respect your gifts, your role, respect the planet.
• Learning to follow rules, orders.
• Learning to stand up to a bully, rudeness, others' judgements, being put down or disrespected by adults as well as children.
• Learning to be tough, bully back, or simply hide your feelings, become invisible enough that no one will notice that you are "dumber" or "smarter".
• Learning to look to those older or in higher positions of power for the answers, the right way, the rules, approval.
• Learning to fear or disrespect these same authority figures who seem to have little knowledge of your needs, interests or true skills.
• Learning get along with many members of society, of any age, make friends with any age, learn from people of any age, choose your own teachers, your own team-members, those you work well together with.
• Learning to take responsibility for your actions, your choices, learn to be self-motivated, and worthy, and honour your participation in society.
• Learn to become a cog or a wheel.
• Learn to be cool, fit in, wear the right clothes, attach to right group, who share the same image, brand loyalty, cause or pass-time as you.
• Learn to be unique, confident, original.
• Become a member of a tribe, a community, a gang - belong.
• Learn to hold an intelligent conversation with a three year old or a 70 year old.
• Have the skills to not only show respect to those two, but also share interests, and concern for their well-being.
• Learn how the world works, what people do for jobs, how they interact, how they learned what they do, what family relations are.
• Be able to socialize when you feel like it, get quiet time, or time alone when you need it.
• Learn to copy your peers so that you don't get ostracized or lose friends.

The list can go on, and on, and on, there are so many things involved.  It is very worthwhile, I believe, for each of us to ask not only what socialization is, but also what we perceive as positive or negative socialization.  Many who choose home learning, do so as they believe that school offers more negative than positive, or perhaps better put that society at large, offers so many more positives than school.

I tend to agree.   The two boys that Daniel has become close with other than his neighbourhood friends, the children he's met through our home daycare, and friends he's met through his family connections, are home learner's we met in a small group that gathered for about a year and then disbanded.  Though, each of the three boys come from very different families, with rather distinct value systems, and one a year older, the other two years older than Daniel, they get along very well.

When is it that any adult has to spend most of the day together with a group of 15 or 30 people exactly the same age?  Why is it so important for children to learn this?  How does this help prepare them to be functional members of society?

So far, I think Daniel is doing well, has managed the waters of the group daycare his dad sent him to, and the preschool experience fairly well.  I believe most wholeheartedly in attachment parenting, the continuum concept, the work of Gordon Neufeld, and what some advocates of home schooling have written, that above all else, children need secure attachments, respectful loving bonds with adults.  They can have these with their teachers.  But so often the case is as children start to detach from their parents, start in daycare, preschool, kindergarten, their emotional and security needs are not met by the adults there, and they look to their peers for this security.  I have noticed a little of this with Daniel.

But luckily, he has spent a lot of time in secure attachment with me, his father, and a couple of other care-givers, and he is blossoming as a social being.  Having his emotional needs for security met, he is free to branch into the larger social network, find friends, test ideas, care for others, extend trust.

He can be shy at times, much less so than before, but still very selective in who he wants to meet and greet, who he will choose as a new friend to play with in the park.  He is slow to trust, but once he's built a relationship, will usually keep it.  I have learned that he is much more comfortable in smaller groups, and tends to either balk at large crowds, or cling more, need more adult interaction, or simply get very hyper - my guess as a way of dealing with the stress.  I have seen him go up to a new child and invite him to play, and I have seen him hang on to my leg and beg me to help him ask a child if he can join the game.  I've watched Daniel totally ignore an adult who tries to engage with him, and at another time, seek out, and introduce himself to an adult he is interested in.

Daniel has had experience with many different groups of people, many children of all ages, many different kinds of adults.  Adults often think he is much older than he is because he is often willing to engage them in a "deep" conversation.  He can play with children much younger and much older than himself, organize games, discuss rules, acknowledge and compliment others ideas or efforts.  Until recently he has been very aware of others needs, shown compassion to others.  I see this waning in the past few months....and am not completely sure why.


I don't believe he has learned these social skills in the large daycare center he went to briefly or the small Montessori preschool he attends presently 2/3 mornings a week.  I believe he learned this from me and his father, from his experience in the world around him, and mostly his experiences hanging out at home, out and about in different social settings with me and the other children in my care.  In many ways, it is like having a larger family, where the bonds, respect, and ways of being, co-existing, develop over time, as the trust is built. We experience frustration and joy, learning to set boundaries, learning to work together, teaching and caring for the younger ones, learning from, standing up against, and reasoning with the older ones.  There is time for this trust to build, time to discover commonalities and roles, calm and space to reflect, withdraw from the crowd, make choices, express needs, and also importantly have enough adults around to model life skills, communication skills, real work, and give the loving nurturing that a growing child needs.

Kindergarten In The Fall

Well, I'm in the process of mourning the fact that my super smart little self-directed wonder boy will be attending Kindergarten next September.  What a change that's going to be.  I'm sad about it, he's sad about it, but I am trying to help him look on the bright side, that as with everything new we try, it will be a learning experience, a chance for him to explore in new ways, with new people.  He's become very verbal about how he learns and opinions about different ways of learning and how he'd like to use his time, and he's quite sure he won't like school. He may be wrong.

How has this happened?  Well, as Daniel says, similarly about his swim classes, "It's not for me, but for my dad, it makes him happy, it's what he wants.  He doesn't understand home schooling."  Daniel has also said, "It's ok mum, we can still home school after school."  And he's right!  I know that whatever comes our way, whatever we meet, we will work with.  I'm hoping at least to guide him in learning that, to be flexible and work within the restrictions life throws us.

Daniel on Montessori Pre School

"I'm the kind of kid who likes to explore, search, find the right path....
That's why my Montessori pre-school is so boring for me, you can only do the things you already know, again and again, but can't explore the new works until someone shows you, can't work on it and figure it out yourself.", said my little dude.
I said, "Yeh, I know."

Why does he go, then?  You may ask.  It is something his father has chosen for him.  I think it has been a fairly good learning experience, a taste of what a certain kind of "school" can be like, a chance to meet people away from his mother or father, to work with some other adults.  He has spent a lot of time doing metal insets, a kind of stencil that helps children learn pencil control.  This has given him a chance to do a lot of drawing which he does on the back of or inside his stenciled shapes.  He's discovered he likes art, likes to draw, create, and has much more control now of pens and pencils.  For a long time it is mostly what he did there, a way of passing time in silence that has now become something he does at home too.  He's also become a pretty good teacher both in my style, and in the Montessori style.  His teachers have said that he's wonderful with the other children, mostly younger than him, patient, a good role model.  Hhhhm, I wonder where he got that practice from?
There's more to be said....later perhaps.
All in all, I believe he feels it's a waste of time, and I tend to agree, with the same time he could be doing other kinds of classes.  Exploring more deeply ideas and activities that he's really interested in.

A Sunday in the Life...

I was inspired this morning, waking up leisurely beside my dear sweet darling, to note down the amazing things Daniel does on weekend days we don't rush off on some planned adventure.

Under the covers in bed, Daniel noticed that you could see the coloured squares printed on the top through the dark under layer.  (He's noticed this many times in five years, but hadn't mentioned it in a while - or we hadn't hid under the covers together in a while...) "Look at the squares!  They are so beautiful.  Do you know what the most beautifulest combinations are?  Red and green, and blue and red...like beautiful glass tiles decorating a floor!"  (Has Daniel ever seen a glass tiled floor?)

On getting out of bed, craft supplies still strewn on the floor, Daniel announced he was going to make a Death Star out of tape and two plastic recycled dome shaped things (mocha covers??).  While I was making coffee and a breakfast shake, Daniel started practicing letters, tracing and then free form in a simple work-book we have.  "Do you want to see a sideways 'm'?" He asked me, running into the kitchen.  He showed me the capital 'B'.  "It's basically an 'm', except it has a line at the bottom." Said D.

Later, while I made a list of the errands and activities around The Drive for the day, Daniel carefully watched my writing, he suggested I draw pictures, so he could remember what each note said, and practice his reading.

Then he asked if he could do more work from the little activity books we bought at The Richmond Bog Centre yesterday.  He did some connect the dots, a Komodo Dragon, while asking me about the numbers, learning the look of 15, 16, 21, 22 etc. Then did another connect the dots which were block letters, after doing the first two: 'G and L' he guessed the word must be 'glide' something.  He then decided to colour the pictures in....

In the first hour of the day, Daniel has done at least half a day of Kindergarten....hhhhmmmm...or not, he hasn't done much lining up.